Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Review: Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens

(Thoughtless #1)
by S.C. Stephens
Published: June 11, 2011

For almost two years now, Kiera's boyfriend, Denny, has been everything she's ever wanted: loving, tender and endlessly devoted to her. When they head off to a new city to start their lives together, Denny at his dream job and Kiera at a top-notch university, everything seems perfect. Then an unforeseen obligation forces the happy couple apart.

Feeling lonely, confused, and in need of comfort, Kiera turns to an unexpected source—a local rock star named Kellan Kyle. At first, he's purely a friend that she can lean on, but as her loneliness grows, so does their relationship. And then one night everything changes...and none of them will ever be the same.

A few days ago I was segregating all the blog stuff in my laptop and I saw that I have a review - or a rant to be more appropriate - of Thoughtless when I was still reading it more than a year ago that I wasn't able to publish because I didn't finish the book. I hated it but nevertheless, I wanted to continue reading it because I wanted to know what happens next and I didn't want to just scan the rest since I was more than halfway through. I know. I was torturing myself - this book has 500 and some pages. I keep putting it off and eventually I didn't have the heart to even skip pages until I reach the end. I just don't care anymore.

Now, here I am, and I am going to publish that rough and unfinished sort-of review. Take what you can out of it. Just remember that this is only based on the parts I have read and yes, it was that awful for me. Fair warning: lots of profanity follows. Couldn't help myself.

Here goes..

For almost two years now, Kiera's boyfriend, Denny, has been everything she's ever wanted: loving, tender and endlessly devoted to her. When they head off to a new city to start their lives together, Denny at his dream job and Kiera at a top-notch university, everything seems perfect. 

So there is that for the plot.

Then an unforeseen obligation forces the happy couple apart.

More like Kiera being a fucking head case.

Oh. My. God. I could kill someone. I am so irritated with Kiera. Irritated - you'll hear that word plenty from her. She broke up with Denny because he accepted a prestigious once-in-a-lifetime job that would require them to be apart for two years. A job which, by the way, is for their future. He turned down the offer, came back home to her because he loves her and doesn't want to lose her. But what does Kiera do on that one night they were broken up? She cheats on him with none other than their new roommate, Denny's good friend, whom she just met but "looked downright delicious". And now she feels really guilty and Denny’s stuck with a crappy job but she’s still irritated that it takes a lot of their time together. What the fuck, girl. You’ve been together for two years, and another two years apart isn’t the end of the world. Now look at what you’ve done, you bitch. And for your information, it’s a job. Not a fucking vacation, so why are you “getting really sick and tired of the endless tasks that occupied so much of his time and thoughts, and that were so beneath his brilliant mind”, which is entirely your fault, by the way. And between the two of them, it’s Kiera who feels lonely and miserable and angry all the time. THE NERVE!

Denny, who was nothing but a great boyfriend. She slept with another guy the minute things were over between her and her boyfriend. The next morning, her boyfriend is back with no job and she slept with him because SHE needs HIM and the other guy, Kellan, is out drinking himself into oblivion because Kiera is so fucking dense and pretends to care about Kellan like nothing is wrong and out of ordinary. Like she didn't just destroy Kellan and Denny's friendship. Seriously, where did her brain go? Or does she have one in the first place?

And so the cheating continues..

I was so overcome with emotions and topping the list is my brutal need to murder someone (Kiera specifically). SHE DOES NOT DESERVE BOTH OF THEM. SHE DOES NOT DESERVE ANYONE! My heart is breaking for Kellan and Denny. Kiera, however.. I just want her to get lost.

“Denny,” I explained. “He told me what happened, while he was staying with your family. The song was about you, wasn’t it? You and your dad?”
Kellan nodded and looked out over the quiet park, remaining silent.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked timidly.
Still looking away from me, he quietly said, “No.”
My heart broke at the haunted look in his eyes. I hated myself for what I was about to say, but I so desperately wanted him to open up to me. “Will you anyway?”

Me: ??????

He sniffed, then looked down at the grass. He picked up a blade and twirled it idly in his fingers. Slowly, he turned to face me. I tensed, wondering if he would be angry. As his eyes met mine however, all I saw were years of sadness. “There’s nothing to talk about, Kiera.” His voice was soft, but full of emotion. “If Denny told you what he saw, what he did for me, then you know as much as anyone.”
Not quite willing to let it go, I said, “Not as much as you.” He watched me silently, his eyes begging for me to not ask anything else. I did anyway, hating myself for it. “Did he hit you often?”

She sure does hate herself a lot.

I swallowed, willing myself to stop asking him painful questions that he obviously did not want to answer. “Didn’t your mom ever try to stop him…help you?”

But she did anyway. Like, always. Goooooood, help me.

He shook his head no, a tear rolling down his cheek.
My eyes watered, the tears threatening to spill. Please stop this, I begged myself. You’re hurting him. “Did it end, when Denny left?” I whispered, hating myself even more.

Apparently, girl, you don’t hate yourself enough.

I would’ve liked this - maybe - if it isn’t for Kiera. But she’s the protagonist and the story was told in her POV so go figure. She totally overlooked the part that she and Denny were together for two years when she decided to break up with him, get drunk and forget about him that easily. And just like that, faster than I would have time to snap my fingers, she slept with somebody else. Are you kidding me? She says she feels guilty all the time but if you ask me, she doesn’t act like it. I hate her for breaking Denny’s heart but at the same time, I’m glad she did. Denny deserves someone better. NO. He deserves anyone other than her. I feel sorry for Kellan.

“This isn’t fair.” A tear fell down my cheek, and I stopped him from brushing it away. “This isn’t fair to Denny. This isn’t fair to you.” I felt a sob rising. “I’m being cruel to you.”

Yeah, yeah. You already said that. But for one goddamn time stop all this talk and do something right. Fix that mess you started.

This was getting really stupid. I was being stupid. I should end this.

That’s what I’m talking about.

But he was so… I sighed. I couldn’t end it yet. I liked it too much. My addiction was too strong.

Fuck you.

I mean, you shouldn’t be looking at other guys in the first place. No matter how gorgeous he is. You have a boyfriend of two years for fuck’s sake. Hey, I’m no expert on relationships but this kind of situation can be understood by a 7th grader. You don't do something like that to another person! Someone need a thorough biiitch slaaaaap.

Whatever, just.. I give up.

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